Hand making as the antidote to “having it all”.

This is one of those posts. The rambling, not-quite-clear-in-my-own-head posts which is being written to see if, by the very act of writing it down, I can clear my head. The kind of post where I’m not yet sure the ideas contained in it are able to be wrapped up into a nice post with a bow. Bear with me. 

More than at any time in history, we* have it all. In the not-too-distant-past gadgets and luxury items (eg. mobile phones, 2nd cars and computers) were extras. Things that some people had and most didn’t. These days they are almost a given. In the era of connection, one thing we have become very aware of is what we could consume. Sometimes that leads us to feel that if we don’t have everything then maybe we are missing out. The latest and greatest are visible and available. The marketing of almost every product out there tells us that "we deserve it". And marketing is everywhere.

What scares me most is that my kids have it all. No, they don’t have hundreds of toys or devices or computer games. But in essentials, they are totally sorted. They are healthy, have parents that care about them and actively try to help them become functional satisfied adults, a community that supports them and loves them, a cosy home, great food**, accessible free health care, a calm and safe (if somewhat politically immoral) civil society. They have every chance to lead good lives.

I’m not my kids. I didn’t grow up with it all. I was lucky that I had parents that loved me and generally we had enough. But sometimes we had a little less than we needed, and there was often financial insecurity around where the basics would come from. Even though that is no longer my life, that worry is still part of me and has helped form my relationship to money and things. That understanding of less-than has lead to me being incredibly intrinsically grateful.

And so I get a little worried about my kids sometimes. Worried about what their experience of growing up in today's society is teaching them about having it all.  

Our society is focused on the accumulation of things, things that make you happy, things that fix your pain, things that fill the holes and fight loneliness. Things for the sake of things. Buying and accumulating as the solution to every problem  Bigger, better, best; where enough is never enough?

Birthday Dress.

So what if?? What if my kids are never satisfied? What if they get caught up in the spiral of desire and longing? So much so that they aren’t able to truly see what they have? What if because they have it all they never realise how extraordinarily lucky and privileged they are?

So here is my hope, my dream for the future of my children if you will. I’m passionately hoping that the life that we live will act as an antidote to the societal pressures they will inevitably face. A life where we try to focus on relationships, community and experiences over things. One where we repair rather than throw out. One where we actively prioritise making things with our hands as opposed to buying ready-made. Not always but as often as we can.

I’m hoping that they remember that the things that were really special in their childhood are the things that we have made them, they have made themselves or they have made each other. That their special things were made. And it was the time, the energy and the thought that went into them that made them so.

I’m hoping that the time they witness us spending making cubbies, bedframes, gardens, roast dinners, sweaters and quilts, will be showing them the value that comes from consciously putting effort, time and materials into the things that we surround ourselves with. And that those things embody all the energy, effort and intention that has gone into making them. And that the crux of it is, that the making itself is what makes life rich, and not the things themselves.

Hand making as the antidote?

All thoughts are welcome – so bring them on.

Felicia x

*I understand that "we" is only a sector of society however it is the one I inhabit, and according to the statistics "we" as a broader Australian society have more than we have ever had at any time in history. 

**My personal opinion. My kids often cry when I put dinner in front of them. Make of that what you will :). 

Stash Less - Not just for the holidays.

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago now but I thought it was still relevant so I would post anyway. 

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I'm in NYC. And some lovely women I know just invited me to the garment district to do some fabric shopping. And a crazy thing just happened - I said thanks, but no thanks. 

I know! How shocking - we are talking about fabric shopping in NY. An opportunity that is few and far between. 

But it's really feeling good. Not because I don't want to go. I do. I wish I could. But I can't.

It turns out, that like a puppy, Stash Less is probably for life*!

I know that one of the worst things that I can do in terms of not buying-more-stuff-for-the-sake-of-buying-more-stuff is not to shop. I did let myself go to Purl Soho but I went with intention. I went to specifically look and feel their new yarns. I wanted to try their Worsted Twist and their Flax Down - I knew my specific purchases before I walked in the door. But even with that well-thought-out intention in place, I almost left with other stuff. The impulse purchase "oh but I really want to make that at some stage and wouldn't it be lovely to have it now" feeling was really strong. But I stopped, thought, and I put the things back. 

In the end I purchased two skeins of yarn, an addi needle I needed and a present for my kids of some knotting cord. And that was it! 

There is the little bit inside me that still thinks it would be crazy not to go and look at the garment district. I make a lot of clothes and having fabric on hand is a bit part of my ability to do that. The old "but your in NY" excuse. But that is just what it is. An excuse. And I don't want to live like that. I know I'm being repetitive - but it is for me more than you - because really I have enough.

I want to be responsible and aware and conscious of the choices I'm making and the behaviours I'm engaging in. I want to walk my talk.

I still have a way to go**. But I know I won't get there by heading to the garment district. 

Felicia

* More on that soon. 

**For example I know little to nothing about the manufacture of many of the fabrics I purchase. And I may have done a little too much purchasing at the Squam fair - but more on that next week. 

A Me Made May Roundup

Me Made May has wrapped up for the year and personally I am calling it a big success. Consciousness was raised!I I really loved participating in it, but more than that I loved sticky-beaking at other peoples wardrobes via the ever wonderful instagram hastags #mmmay15 and #memademay. Totally inspiring - and showing that handmade can easily be everyday. 

I wrote about my participation in Me Made May in this post. My pledge was simply to wear handmade everyday; as I wear homemade nearly everyday anyway I didn't think it was going to be any big deal. And really it wasn't. I took it a tiny step further, in that I aimed to wear my whole handmade wardrobe. I didn't quite wear everything as there were a few summer things that weren't weather appropriate but I tried. I didn't have a total repeat until Day 23 - which means that I was right in my post the other day when I talked about the idea of "enough". I'm there*. 

The thing was, I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to get out of it. I hoped for some awareness on what I really liked and didn't like in my wardrobe. And then maybe a little more consciousness around what I already had and more specifically, some consciousness around what I had, but didn't like. What I clarified is that over the last 2/3/4 years I have slowly but surely developed a wardrobe I really love. A handmade wardrobe that I wear nearly everyday without thinking about it. That fits my life and makes me feel good. 

Day 1 through to Day 9.

That said I also discovered a few other things

1. I have few things I don't like and therefore don't wear. For each the things I don't like there is a very simple fix - I've been being lazy. I'll get to them when I get home in July. 

2. I discovered there were some holes in my wardrobe, that became clearer through the wearing.

a. I have a huge jacket sized hole. When I return to Australia the Morris is going to be tackled and won, before my kids have recovered from their jetlag*. 

b. I love frocks. Love them. Just peruse my pinterest board and you will find a wealth of frocks. In reality I only have two that I own and wear. Fixing this hole is my sewing goal over the next year or so. I aim to hunt down and perfect some frock patterns that fit and make me feel the joy. I have two ready-to-wear frocks I love, so I am thinking I might be doing some copying, in terms of size, shape and fit. I know I have been avoiding this as it seems easier to just bang out a top than to make a frock. This is a declaration of intent lovely people!!!

c. Some of my clothes are getting a little thin - like my favourite Liberty tank dress - and will need to be replaced over the next year. 

Day 10 through Day 21.

3. I also discovered something (quite liberating) about my handmade wardrobe limits!
When I was looking at the "bottoms" section of my wardrobe I realised that I had only one or two handmade garments and they annoyed me.  I am a classic pear with a set of rounded saddlebag bits on my outer thighs. That make pants/skirts trickier to fit and so I would much rather be able to try the thing on as a finished garment. The idea of fiddling with a pattern to get something to fit without being even 20% sure I would get something wearable at the end is not at all appealing. My heart feels constricted at the mere idea of looking for a pattern.

So my realisation?? - That in making my handmade wardrobe I do not want to make pants or even really skirts. In the future I might have the brainspace but I currently don't have it in me to fiddle with the fit. And so I am just going to cross that whole category off my sewing list. Letting go = happy days. 

Day 22 through Day 31

All details for all patterns etc are on instagram. If you don't have an instagram account then go to http://instagram.com/thecraftsessions - just click on the individual photos for the details. 

I'd love to hear what you learned, and what you loved, from this year's Me Made May.

Felicia x

*Last time it took those little tigers 6 nights. SIX nights before they were sleeping between the hours of 12pm and 4am. This time I might need to resort to herbal sleeping remedies?

Why we dress how we dress.

I'm reading Women in Clothes. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend you do at some stage.

I saw it doing the rounds of instagram a few months ago and couldn't for the life of me understand how the topic could be interesting enough to warrant the raving reviews, and it's sheer size. On a whim I purchased it, and have been joyfully dipping in and out for two months now. It sits on our dining room table and I peruse it while having my mid-morning coffee.

The premise is that three women, Sheila Heti, Heidi Julavits and Leanne Shapton, sent a questionnaire to 639 women asking them a list of more than fifty questions about their personal style.

“It is essentially a conversation among hundreds of women of all nationalities - famous, anonymous, religious, secular, married, single, young, old - on the subject of clothing, and how the garments we put on every day define and shape our lives.”

— from the cover of Women in Clothes

This book is totally inspiring. On more than one occasion it has taken my breath away with that feeling of recognition you get when something rings totally true. 

Here is just one of those quotes.  

“I hate it when people say they don’t care about clothes, because it’s a lie. It’s like when writers say they don’t care about plot. Lie. We are always asking for something when we get dressed. Asking to be loved, to be fucked, to be admired, to be left alone, to make people laugh, to scare people, to look wealthy, to say I’m poor, I love myself. It’s the quiet poem in the waiting room , on the subway, in the movie of our lives. It’s a big fucking deal. ”

— Leopoldina Core in Women in Clothes

I'd love to hear your take on this... The quote might strike you as it did me - or maybe you just think it's total rubbish. 

For me - I realised that after having my kids I've often dressed to hide. Hide the fact that I didn't quite feel like me. Hide the fact that I weighed more than I did and that my body had changed. Sometimes dressing as an unconcious way of conveying my exhaustion. Dressing to be invisible so I didn't have to chat because I didn't have the energy. The whole nursing top and baggy pant stage. It's almost like me as a person disappeared into the mothering and that was reflected in what I wore. Not everyday but often enough.

And there was another thing. It was almost like when I came out the other side of the early days I wasn't sure who I was, and that was reflected in my dress. I wasn't the same person - the pre-motherhood, working in pencil skirts and heels, jeans and tshirts on the weekend kinda girl. And yet I was. Everything I put on felt wrong. Too slobby, too dressed up, too whatever .... and that felt awkward.

That awkward stage of dressing and mothering ended a few years ago but I'm not sure it's left me completely. As my kids are getting older I can feel things changing and I've recovered my idea of "self". Dragging it out from under the all-consuming getting-through-the-days of early parenting into something where I recognise me in me. My clothes are reflecting that - reflecting the fact that most days now I remember to have a shower and look in a mirror on my way out the door. That there is the brain space to engage in the self-care and self-love involved in dressing in a way that makes me feel good. And that in itself feels pretty good.

The quote made me think that maybe it is partly a chicken and egg situation. Maybe by consciously dressing to convey my me-ness I'm encouraging my me-ness to return. And around it goes? 

Any thoughts?

Felicia x

Stash Less - Creating an Intentional wardrobe.

This blogging business has meant having to put words to the thoughts I'm having around my making. Over time that means I've got more conscious and that consciousness has brought such joy. Ideas are breeding more ideas, leading to change that's resulted in increased satisfaction with the products I'm making. I am creating the things I really want to make, rather than making things based on the whims of the day. By slowing down and getting thoughtful I'm spending the time getting it right rather than getting it done.

One area where this is most true is about my own wardrobe. A consciousness raising has occurred over the last two years when it comes to what I own and what I wear. It started with the why all crafters need a visual diary post - seeing that my clothes pinterest page (which clearly demonstrated the aesthetic I liked) looked nothing like my actual wardrobe (where I often got stuck thinking I had nothing to wear), set me on a path about changing that situation. I started consciously filling the gaps with things that fitted the aesthetic I liked. On top of that, being away for six months last year, and living out of a small bag, lead to the start of Stash Less. Stash Less has lead to me finally using the "special" fabrics I was hoarding because of their specialness - which has lead to that specialness being part of my everyday wardrobe rather than an unseen piece of fabric in my stash. Then late last year I spoke about some of these ideas on the Woolful podcast I took part in. And again the very act of putting words to my thoughts helped me to clarify what it is that is important to me. Trying to be conscious and intentional about my making but also about my handmade wardrobe.

Eighteen days in to Me Made May, and I want to say I've learnt more than I thought I would. The act of taking a photo everyday for MMM, and the fact that I've had to go through my handmade wardrobe in order to showcase it, has lead to me seeing my wardrobe differently. I've learnt that I have a lot of clothes I like, that make me feel good. Which is great. It wasn't the case a few years ago.  While I think I may only have a day or two of unseen handmade clothing left before I start to repeat pieces, but the fact that I have already had eighteen days worth of different handmade clothing leads me to believe that I have enough clothes.

Enough is a another concept I keep thinking about. Consciously consuming and consciously creating are my current focus, but what about enough? Creating for the sake of creating doesn't lead to happiness for me. It leads to excess, which in turn doesn't feel satisfying. And MMM has clearly shown me that I have enough already.

So given that I now understand my wardrobe better, and that I can clearly see I have enough, these days I'm trying not to make clothes on a whim. I try to look for gaps and consciously plan what I make; to really understand how something will fit in and make based on an a need*. Which leads me to the slight contradiction!

While MMM has shown me I have enough, it has also shown me that there are one or two gaps. I go to put together an outfit only to discover that I don't have anything to go with a top in cold weather. Or that I can see from my Pinterest page that my first love is frocks and yet I only have one or two. Or I am going out for dinner and have nothing but cardigans to wear with the going-out tops. 

One such gap is a garment that I mention in the original Visual Diary post (from nearly two years ago) that I haven't managed to fill yet.  A longish, simple, light-coloured, boyfriend style slouchy-ish cardy that means all my tops can be worn in winter. Many or most of my cardigans and jumpers are autumn/spring 3/4 sleeve numbers and while sleeves help solve it, they don't totally solve the problem when things get chilly in sunny Melbourne. Figuring this out through participating in MMM has changed the order of my knitting queue so that I've started it.  Knowing that I've wanted something like this for about two years, I have been able to hone my idea of what it should be. 

After two years I know exactly what it needs to be! - A warm plain Jane cardigan in a light neutral colour that I can wear with all the pretty tops. I'm using Uniform as a base as I love Carrie and know she won't steer me wrong, but I'm modifying it so that it is more like a this Primoeza cardy or this ace little number from my pinterest board. I didn't want white because I don't wear white. And although grey will always be my first love, enough can sometimes be enough. The endlessness that is my colour palette is doing my head in. I wanted something warmer in tone for the chilly depths of winter. I considered things like Beiroa and Bendigo Woolen Mills Linen Fleck but I wanted to truly fall in love with the yarn. Which I did, last week when I saw this Debbie Bliss Donegal Tweed.

I don't actually remember the last time I purchased a Debbie Bliss yarn. It was a long long time ago. Back when I had little babies and buying three balls of yarn for a kid garment felt like a lot. It totally feels like I'm going old-school early-Ravelry when we didn't put so much thought into our buying. But Jules gave this yarn her stamp of approval when she designed her Frankie hat so I knew I would like how it wore. And I am totally in love with the colourway and the feel - 90% wool and 10% alpaca with a multicoloured tweedy effect. I know I will love this for a long time to come.

Another gap I will fill soon is the Morris Blazer - since I saw in on Jen back in 2011 via social media I have known it was the perfect gap-filling going out jacket. Not too formal, but not a cardigan.

While an intentional approach to my wardrobe hasn't happened in a day - it's actually taken a couple of years - taking the time to get intentional has been the key to me feeling satisfied with my wardrobe for the first time in my life. 

Have you hit the "enough" point or are you just beginning? Are you happy with your wardrobe? How do you get intentional?

Felicia x

PS. You can see my MMM progress on instagram.

*Used in the a very loose way obviously.