So I wrote last week a post asking “Is my making fast fashion?”. And then I did a video on Instagram discussing similar topics in a slightly different way. And as always, you lovely humans have helped me clarify some of my thinking with your thoughtful, clever commentary.

And while I think there is so much more to discuss, here are four key possibly-more-meta ideas that have come up for me out of those conversations.

1. Sitting In The Grey Is An Act Of Trying!

In using the quote last week that suggested that there was no single answer, and suggesting that this was freeing, I really did mean that we should sit in the grey. Not that the lack of “an” answer to this question should mean we get to ignore the question but rather that the lack of “an” answer means that we need to keep asking bigger more beautiful questions. And keep asking them.

Is my making fast fashion?
Am I living my values or merely thinking them?
And how can I make those two things a little more aligned in this moment?

These are my big beautiful questions.

Yours might be different.

And importantly this leads to point 2.

2. ON PARTIAL SOLuTIONS

We need to talk about this. Someone importantly spoke of how there were partial solutions. And they are right there are. This was a big part of what I was trying to say and this is the grey I was speaking of. It’s critical we keep considering and finding these partial solutions.

My shirt from last week was a partial solution. That fabric was GOTs and Oeko-Tex certified. I used a remnant of 1.1m and adjusted the pattern accordingly. I’ve already worn it 20 times and will wear it more than 100 in its lifetime as it makes me so joyful. The joy improves my mental health which means I’m more productive in my other work in the world. BUT I didn’t need it. There are transport miles involved and there is the opportunity cost (a key part of our this conversation I’m going to be talking more about!) of me using it.

Which brings us back to the big, beautiful question in the grey. What partial solution can we put in place such that this act of making is more thoughtful, considered, earth-kind.

3. Partial Solutions Involve More Headspace

But. And this is important. Those partial solutions involve more thought and planning and consideration than simply going to the shop, buying some materials and making with abandon. And at different times we have different capacities.

A few weeks ago I did a video on the four attentional states I believe we engage with in our making depending on what we are doing. This is a draft, my first attempt at this categorisation so feel free to chime in with your thoughts.

Importantly sometimes when people are flat, and overwhelmed, and grief-laden, and anxious, we don’t have the capacity engage in the extra cognitive work that comes from making more aligned choices. And there aren’t many of us operating in this moment at full capacity. We are worn out, anxious, overwhelmed and exhausted - and doing our best.

There is a funny tension though with the “doing our best” part. Because only we know what “doing our best” in any given moment is.

I want to share more about the wedding quilt at the top of the post. It is incredibly special to me as I have used scraps from the clothes I made us when we got married 5 years ago - plus a bunch of others from the last 15 years of our lives. I’m really pleased and proud of it. And may finish it today BUT if I was to say it was a scrap quilt that would only be about 80% of the story.

You see I made it over the last few years - years which involved some really tricky times for me personally. And yes this quilt is totally made from scraps which I am proud of - except.

Except that I didn’t have any plain backing fabric, and so for some impulsive reason, I realised this was the case, got in my car, went to a local quilting store and purchased 2m of linen/cotton for the backing. Why did I do this when I could have cobbled together a back?

I simply wasn’t thinking it through. I just needed to be able to get on to the quilting on that particular day and I didn’t feel I had any good options AND SO without really thinking I got in my car and drove to the shops.

And yes, I then made up the rest of the backing using the last big scraps I had. And yes, I have subsequently been kicking myself for the random-ness of this purchasing. I could have used an old sheet. I had all sorts of options available….. :). But on that day, in the headspace I was in, with the cognitive capacity I had, this was the choice I made.

And I have to practice grace towards myself on that day because I was “doing my best” in that moment.

I’ve made all sorts of purchasing decisions in the last few years I wouldn’t make in years where I wasn’t as flat and overwhelmed. It’s not an excuse. It’s an explanation and an awareness. And with that awareness, with the knowledge that I haven’t been making decisions that are as congruent, I can course correct, and use some of my #10minofmaking simply for planning as I know that without planning, I will unconsciously make decisions that are less aligned with my values, and therefore won’t make me feel as good in the longer term.

What can I do today for future Felicia. Future Felicia would prefer a quilt without any new fabric! Good to know.

3. We Need To Better Know Thyself

We, me included, need to better understand how we are think, because we are not the clear-minded rational humans we like to think we are. We are biased towards thinking what we already think. And to avoiding thinking about things we don’t want to believe.

Our existing beliefs are so sticky. Yes there is confirmation bias where we are more likely to listen to information that agrees with our existing beliefs. But there is also a kind of forward-looking bias where we are actively seeking information to confirm what we believe. The odds are stacked against us changing or altering something we already believe.

And that is OK. Our beautiful brains are just trying to protect us but it can be really useful to look at all the (absolutely fascinating) biases we have so that we can better improve our thinking processes.

Our personalities and critical-thinking skills impact how we are able to parse information. A simple example is that some of us are believed to have personalities that are more “open-to-experience”. This means we are the kinds of people who seek to understand new information. Others of us find this harder and feel more settled sitting in the status quo. But we all have a tendancy to want to shut down or look away from ideas we find hard. Like that I am not (yet) the environmental steward that I would like to be.

I practice actively seeking and sitting with information and ideas that make me uncomfortable, while also practicing grace towards myself. This is so important. If I was simply to look at all the information out there about how to live more ethically I come up super short. But I try not to use my super-shortness to whack myself, but rather to remind myself of what is important to me.

Instead I try to think of life as a practice, which in itself is a practice. I jolted awake at 6am this morning, with a mental whacking stick at the ready. I was lucky this morning in that I could see it. I simply named it as anxiety, and then was able to get up and move into my day. Other days this isn’t so easy.

But understanding more about how my brain is working has helped me make a distinction between me and my thoughts which is a much healthier space for me. And this space helps when sitting with these questions because it allows me to just notice what is coming up for me when I fall short of my ideal rather than making it mean something.

I’m worried I’ve gone a little off track as I’ve written to you all in this post this morning, but I guess I was simply trying to add some more nuance to this incredibly complex conversation. I’m so glad you are all in this with me and look forward to talking about this more.

Felicia x

If you are interested in looking into biases (which I find fascinating!!) then a simple place to start is this wikipedia article which has the most enormous list.