Making shit up.

Years ago I made a quilt that wasn’t quite right - and I think I’m about to make another. You see in craft there are many norms. We call these norms ‘rules’ and they are often based on tradition. We hear that the right way to do things is X and if we’ve done it kinda Y-like we may be “lucky” enough to be informed of the error of our ways. And sometimes that can be useful - maybe we didn’t know about X way of doing things. And maybe X would work better. But sometimes we get so caught up with X that we forget it’s even possible to think up Y. And Y could be just what we needed.

I’m right in the middle of doing my middle kids quilt and gee-willakers I’m loving it. It is a true joy project - the process is magically calming and exquisitely sensory. The hand-quilting part of making a quilt is a basically a menial task with all the non-thinking mindfullness that the menial entails. Plus I get to look at the pretty quilt while I’m doing it. And I think that the hand quilting I’ve chosen to do - which I was really uncertain about - is enhancing the look of the quilt delightfully.

To make the process even more joyful I’ve (rudely) taken over the whole of our dining table for the duration, and am making us eat dinner in our brekkie spot. Which means the quilt is always out and ready, so I can do a stitch or two here and there throughout the day. As projects go this one has been totally joy filled once I got over my stories and my fear. I really had to sit in the fear that it wouldn’t work in order to take a step forward.

I handquilted the star to make it the focus of the quilt. And as I’m just over half way through quilting the star, I’m naturally starting to think about how to quilt the rest of the quilt. Outside the star the rest of the quilt is a dark denim chambray, which I really want to keep as a background rather than bringing it into the design….which brings me to the subject of today’s post which is “Making shit up”.

Years ago when I made the spot quilt, I broke with quilting tradition - or at least how I was taught to make a quilt. You see I was trying to show different techniques of quilting for a workshop, so decided to put all the techniques together. I used hand quilting as a feature in the middle of the quilt, and then for the rest of the quilt I machine quilted it. To the best of my knowledge a half-hand-quilted/half-machine-quilted quilt really isn’t a thing. I don’t think there is a special category at the quilting show for this particular mishmash of techniques. To the best of my knowledge this breaks with tradition.*

But after living with the spot quilt for many years I really adore it this hand/machine combination. You see the middle part of the quilt is hand quilted which gives the quilt a tactility and a warmth that a fully machine quilted quilt often lacks (in my opinion!) AND the machine quilted part of the quilt has a certain fluidity that is lacking in the more densely hand quilted spot. This means a cosy quilt with the benefits of both sports - machine and hand.

While the lovely Mary Jane Mucklestone was in town I hosted a workshop with her in Sydney, and one of the things she talked about was the idea of tradition, and how it is not always as traditional as we might think. MJ is a wealth of knowledge and history of Fair Isle and Shetland knitting - she’s even written books about it! And so what she said surprised me - which was, that traditions are incredibly practical, that there are reasons why the crafters make the choices they do, but also that sometimes in some places, and some families, they do things differently based on their preference. For example some people sew their ends in, some weave in ends as they go, some tie knots and others (shock and horror) do nothing but leave their ends dangling. MJ spoke of how tradition isn’t set in stone, and that she is often surprised by the methodologies people use.

While traditions have much to teach us, we can sometimes stuck on the idea that they are the only ways of doing things and this is a problem. At workshops and festivals and craft fairs and shows, I’ve heard many a lovely human tell another lovely human, that they are doing it wrong. And maybe they are. Maybe in that case there is a better way of doing something, or a way more in line with tradition…. and yet I also want to put my hand up for the idea that we should engage with making shit up regularly. Making shit up to see if we can find a better way, a more practical way of doing something. Making shit up because tradition is not set in stone. Making shit up because traditions evolve. Making shit up because it’s fun and we like the result better.

Every technique was made up at sometime by someone. Whether it was made up yesterday by you, or 150 years ago by women on a far off isle, all options are equally valid. Neither option gets to exclusively own credibility - not the traditional method, nor the new and shiny idea.

Our craft is not a performance for others, but rather it is a lived experience. And as such, all that matters, is that you are pleased with the results you get from the method you have chosen.

I wrote a while back about Breaking the Rules in craft and how often the “rules” are dictated by the values or the circumstances of the people who made them up. For these quilts - I initially broke them to demonstrate techniques for a workshop but now after living with it, and loving it, I think it might be my thing. This beautiful star quilt is going to also be a mish-mash quilt. A hand quilted star with a machine quilted background - just the thing to top it off,don’t you think?

Do you enjoy making shit up? Or are you tradition all the way? Have you invented a technique like mish-mash quilting? If so I’d love to hear about it…..

Felicia x

*Maybe this is a thing in some part of the world I don’t know about? Or is part of some beautiful tradition that I have never seen? I really don’t know that much about the history of quilting. I’d love to hear if you know of a place that does this mish-mash.

Intentional Craft As True Comfort

So this week, and last week, and the week before that we have had stuff going on. And the week before that. And I keep thinking “as soon as this next thing is done there will be space” but there just isn’t. The space I’m magically hoping will appear, is filled with a crashed car, or a guy turning up to put in a skylight, or a kid with some asthma, and a partner with a crook back. And a birthday and a school play and a school fair and the vacuum cleaner blowing up.

It feels necessary to say it’s all good - we are all good-ish shape at the moment and for that I am very grateful. It’s simply life daily with nothing earth shattering, nothing too intense, but the one thing after another is seemingly a little relentless in it’s ongoingness.

Through it all I’m making. Sometimes joyously, but often impatiently, twitchily, frustratedly or late at night when everyone is asleep. Making as a way to claw back a bit of time, a bit of agency, a bit of control. To find a bit of me.

But…. some of this clawing back is a fuck you. Fuck you to a lack of space. Fuck you to demands and to a lack of freedom and just generally to responsibilities. It is the type of making that is essentially screaming at the universe “you don’t own meeee” or “you can’t take my freeedoooomm”.

Now to state the obvious, this isn’t always the most helpful kind of making. It’s not helpful because often when things are this relentless, when there is this much on, my making is actually making things worse.

As one of my midwives once said to me “parenting is all about surrendering to what is, rather than what you would like it to be…. and then once you have surrendered, you will be asked to surrender again”.

I felt mildly outraged when I heard her say this, but 13 years on I know this is true because I’ve lived it. And I believe that it applies more widely than just parenting. Surrender means we are telling ourselves the truth about the reality of what is before us, rather than shouting “NO” at the universe with our fingers in our ears.

My lovely friend and I had a 90 second conversation tonight, in the midst of kids and violins and renovation dust, about making under these conditions. She said that for her making doesn’t work when there is life overwhelm as she finds that the distraction of craft, the desire to do it, pulls her away from what she needs to do to be present. The call of the wild meaning that if she engages she won’t be giving the life stuff the attention it needs to do it well. She said that the lure of craft can make things worse for her.*

This made me think of Brene Brown’s new book “Dare To Lead” I’ve been listening to. In it she speaks of the difference between numbing behaviours, that we use to take the edge off, and the true comfort, that we all deserve and need to consciously make space for. This distinction really resonated to me and made me think more consciously about what I do to take the edge off.

Brene said common numbing behaviours include all the usuals - drinking, smoking, food, internet, instagram, shopping….. But the one she doesn’t mention, my personal favourite is craft.

I use craft to take the edge off all the time. I use it to take the edge off when the kids are fighting in the car. I use it to take the edge off when I’m overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do. I use it to take the edge off when I’m too exhausted to sleep and just want a moment for myself. I use it to take the edge off when I can’t face cooking one more healthy nutritious family meal.

But while taking the edge off feels OK in the moment it doesn’t improve my situation because it’s a numbing behaviour. I’m using craft as avoidance of the trickier parts of my life. Which leads to more overwhelm.

Now there comes a time in every rebellious crafters life, when they have to admit that their crafting is in a place where it’s more fuck you than life elevating. And that in order to live the life one truly wants, a good life, one must take stock and make some better choices.

So what to do?

First up, I inevitably need to pay attention and get the basics covered. Sleep? 9.30 bedtime (even though I resist like a MF.) Water? Good food? Probiotic? Sensible list making to avoid procrastination? Consciously checking the amount of instagram/internet/podcasts I’m consuming? This list is always my starting point because even if I get two or three of them sorted things look up.

And then I look at my making. This is key, because my making is my main tool kit for improving my wellbeing. Not meditation or exercise or gratitude - but engaging with process of making objects with my hands. Praise be.

Making elevates my life, but in order allow it to work it’s magic, I have to get intentional about the kinds of craft I’m engaging with. No numbing craft, no shouting at the universe craft. I need to make time to fill the tank with engaging craft, meaningful craft, comforting craft, joyful craft.

I’ve been here enough times that I know the pattern. In reality filling my tank looks a little like this….

1. I choose meaning. What are projects I can do that are meaningful as objects but are easy to make?

2. I get simple, really simple. All crazy plans for big projects get chucked temporarily and I choose meaningfully simple projects that involve little headspace but provide maximum joy.

3. I try to have two simple knitting projects on the go so that if I get to a tricky bit in one I can pick up the other. No cables, no colourwork, no muss, no fuss.

4. I always have some small portable project that I can take with me to use as my “waiting” time. This avoids me heading to my phone for my dose of dopamine (which does me no good) and instead offers me a way of including more comfort in my day.

5. I have a few simple sewing (Simple Sewing 101 style) projects lined up and ready to do one seam at a time. There are three in my basket cut out right now. Things that I could make with shut eyes but that will be incredibly joyous to wear.
   In tricky times I try to ensure my sewing projects are things that will either have great utility for the kids (as they embody satisfaction, connection and meaning for me) or will make me feel special when I wear them. Ideally they should make me want to do strutting.

6. I dedicate time to it in the middle of the overwhelm, consciously and with purpose. I make time to craft - I schedule it.
   My mum always said “noone has time, they make time”. And I make time to craft. But when there is the overwhelm and the ongoing-ness I do it in teeny tiny blocks. 10 and 20 minutes blocks - like one would use meditation - that I dish out to myself like a daily probiotic.
   And although this tiny amount of time sounds like it wouldn’t be enough, it often is. There is that saying that states we humans overestimate how much we can get done in a day, but underestimate how much we can get done in a year but working on something regularly. Tiny blocks make a huge difference - to my project and my well being.

I often use this kind of making as a reward - once I’ve done my writing and my housework and my kid stuff and the shopping and the life admin, then I get 20 minutes before school pickup that is mine. Guilt free eggs-first style. Craft for joy.

For me true comfort craft in busy times needs to be scheduled and clear and filled with intention. It involves me consciously making a choice to avoid FU craft. It means that I’m choosing surrender, but it also means choosing self care.

This very afternoon I’m sitting down with the lovely Martine after Crossfit, and we are dedicating an hour to friendship and true comfort craft. As of Monday all her time will be taken up again, and so we will be attempting to create a piece of clothing that she can wear into the next three months of busy. An artefact of the making process that reminds her to choose true comfort for herself, when she can. To remind her of her agency, her capacity, her skill and her potential. To remind her that she can create beauty and carry that beauty with her, giving buoyancy to her spirit in the middle of the muddle that is life.

Do you shift your type of craft in the middle of life overwhelm?

Felicia x

*I’m paraphrasing and could have interpreted her words totally wrong….. but regardless, what I heard meant I wrote this post so I’m going to call it artistic license? :)

**I know that sometimes the overwhelm itself makes this impossible.

Overthinking our stories

So at this year’s retreat I took a chance and inflicted a forced a group activity on everyone. During dinner on our second night, I handed everyone a number between 1 & 12, and got them to get up and move to that table. The idea was to shift everyone around, and get them connecting and chatting to a new group of people who they may not have met yet. To make it less awkward and painful, I gave them some juicy questions that I just knew they would have no trouble answering.

My favourite question was the third one - “What is your dream project - and why the bejeezus haven’t you made it yet?” :) :) :).

It’s such a fun question and the answers were illuminating. There were all sorts of reasons being tossed around, but what became clear to me was that a big part of the why fell into two caterogories. The first was that we were overthinking rather than doing and the second was that we had a bunch of stories around our dream project that just weren’t true.

You see, before I forced everyone into group activity I was a little worried (OK - a lot worried) that they would haaate it. Group activities are not my favourite thing. I get awkward and nervous and a little shy, and then often overcompensate by overtalking. It’s a messy thing to watch. So I checked in with my women about whether it was a good idea, and they weren’t sure either - they were 50/50 on whether it was going to make everyone feel good and more connected, or just be weird. After too-ing and fro-ing I decided that the only thing to do was to trust my gut and try. Overthinking about whether it would work or not was not helping me one iota. There was no answer to be found in thinking about it - and all it was doing was making me crazy. I sat in the discomfort of not-knowingness, of fear of failure, and handed out the numbers.

And I’m so glad I did. So many people came up and told me later that it was one of their favourite parts of the event. That they loved the questions, and the cushy way they were forced to chat to new people within the structure of a directed conversation. So many absolutely beautiful connections came out of these deep and heartfelt conversations as people authentically shared about their most meaningful making.

So back to my favourite question. Why don’t we make the thing we truly want to make. Here is a sample list of the reasons….

• Because I’m not good enough yet.

• Because I don’t think I could do it as beautifully as I want to.

• Because I need more practice and more experience.

• Because the materials I want to use are so special.

• Because I don’t want to screw it up.

• Because I don’t have the time yet.

Most of these reasons aren’t actual reasons not to try. They are stories that we roll around in and overthink, that ensure we don’t act. Or if we do act, we don’t act freely. Instead we act with these stories rolling around in our heads - each time we think about them we are assessing whether or not they are true and whether they matter.

I’ve spoken before on the blog about the false economy of not making, about how we are all practising in the gap, and how the only way to get good enough to do the thing we want to do is to do the thing we want to do. Often the only way to learn to write a novel is to write a novel. The only way to learn to run a marathon is to run a marathon. And the only way to learn to make that beautiful colourwork sweater is to make a colourwork sweater.

We can go to as many workshops as we can afford, and read as many books as we can find, but the only way to really do the thing we want to do is put the rubber to the road and try. When we are trying to make, we learn by making. We need to feel the materials in our hands, manipulate them in some way and experience the results.

Planning can only take us so far. To avoid the overthink that leads to paralysis and stories and excuses - the only option we have is to try, something, anything. We need to act - to make some forward movement towards what we want. One step towards our goal is often enough to propel us forward into a new mindset that makes the whole project seem possible. To shift out of our fear into doing, and by doing allow ourselves and our projects to change shape.

When we start, we often find that the thing we were overthinking is not very difficult at all. Like colourwork or cables or natural dyeing or sewing pleats. It is simply another skill to add to the multitude of skills we have learnt since we took our first breath.

We might have more to learn, and our first attempt might be rubbish, but our second attempt will benefit from our first in untold ways. And that without our first attempt we sit in the paralysis and the overthink for years longer than we have to. Sometimes we have to make bad art to make good art.

Now obviously this isn’t always the case - sometimes we genuinely don’t have the experience we need to have to make the thing we want to make and we end up with a howling ugly hot mess of an object - but does that really matter? Many things are salvagable, and even when they aren’t it generally doesn’t result in an apocalypse.

I’m hoping that the conversations that the women had on that night at The Craft Sessions will be that very push to get them started on making their dream project. I’m hoping that the very act of saying what’s stopping them outloud, will be the first movement towards making their dream become realised. Because often, from what I’ve seen, the only thing that is holding us back is overthinking our fears, leading to overempahsising our stories about why we can’t, leading to a paralysis in our planning.

And I’m hoping there will be follow-on as I’ve been suffering from a bit of blog paralysis lately - the ideas that I have getting stuck in overthinking about what I should say and how I should say it. This blog post is about me getting myself out of overthinking and into action. Hurrah for that.

Can you tell me about your dream project - and why you haven’t started yet?

Felicia x

Craft As A Project V's Craft As A Practice

One of the things I love about writing the blog is it's self sustaining nature. By writing one post, and responding to the comments, another post appears. As was the case for this post. The lovely Karen suggested that I look at an article that was published originally on The Conversation by Susan Luckman about the health benefits of craft. And I loved it. It is such a step forward in terms of the public dialog about what craft is, and what it offers. Who else here would love to never see "Not your nana's knitting...." in an article ever again.

Some of you might know that I've been trying to write a book for the last couple of years. A book in which I'm writing about "Craft As An Elevated Life"*. I try not to talk about it too much based on a Derek Sivers clip about how talking about something makes us feel like we have already achieved it**...... but my book is essentially about the connection between hand making and our wellbeing. It is about craft as a ongoing practice, and in part I'm writing it to rewrite our cultural story about what craft is..... because clearly, as so many articles about craft demonstrate, craft has a marketing problem.

As I was reading The Conversation article today I could suddenly see that part of the problem is the difference between how craft is perceived culturally, and what I know that it is. That difference is the difference between a craft project and a craft practice.

You see craft is often presented as a craft project. You "work on a craft project". There are articles about "10 craft projects you can do in 20 minutes". Many of those projects look and feel trivial. They are made as simple as possible as that is one of the restrictions of magazines. They need projects that are accessible and they think that accessible means quick and dumbed down. What many of these projects lack is meaning. Craft done in this manner can seem trivial. A little project to keep you busy if you've got a bit of time on your hands. A hobby.

That is not how I see craft. The craft I know is the craft that elevates my life no matter what is going on, no matter how shit things are or how great things are, is not project based. It's my craft practice that fills me up; an ongoing practice where I repeat the same process - idea, design, materials, making, completion and then utility - over and over again. It's the repetition of process that is what enhances my wellbeing and elevates my life.

There is a depth to a craft practice that is little understood outside our bubble of makers. How craft, creating things, making things makes us come alive. How craft offers us a way to sit with hard things, a portable boredom solution, self expression, everyday beauty. And how craft offers us artifacts of the process and the part we played in it; the things that we make, reminding us of our agency, our patience, our skills and capacity.

According to Dr Martin Seligman - the grandfather of positive psychology - enhancing our wellbeing has five key elements. They are positive emotion, meaning, good relationships, flow or engagement, and achievement.

A craft project taps into maybe three of these five, giving me some positive emotion, maybe some flow and a sense of achievement. However, it is only through my craft practice that I tap into all five elements of wellbeing in a deep and more meaningful way.

Craft as a practice taps into all five elements of wellbeing over and over again. As well as giving me access to positive emotion, flow and achievement, my craft practice improves my relationships - both with the people that I make for, and with the community that exists around our shared passion for hand making. And it adds so much meaning to our lives as it enables us to truly live our values and then live among the artifacts of the process.

A craft practice embodies wellbeing. Craft as wellbeing, craft as life support for the everyday hard. Wellbeing that I know I have access to whenever I need it.

Craft is a gift.

Craft as it's generally portrayed through mainstream media is one dimensional. It's a simple craft project done as a hobby by someone who enjoys making things.

What I can't wait to see more of, as our understanding of what craft offers increases, is articles depicting a craft practice as a holistic way to achieve wellbeing. Not in the moment, or for a moment, as a craft project does, but rather as an ongoing practice for a satisfied life.

Can't wait to read your comments.

Felicia x

*I originally wrote an article for the beautiful Making Magazine using this title.

**Please kick my ass if I don't!!

Other blog posts that are on similar topics include The True Magic Of Making or Craft As Embodied Satisfaction.

Giving Back Policy

Soul Craft is about giving back. Me giving back to this craft and this community who have given me so much over the years - who have literally acted as life support.

But it is also about us giving back - as a community. What we are able to do - make things - is a privilege. No matter how tiny the amount of time we have in any phase of life, or how tiny the amount of money we have for supplies, we get to engage with this thing we love because we have the time/money to do so. We are also lucky enough to have the knowledge that craft is there for us when we need it. That is our privilege.

And so Soul Craft wants to share that privilege around. To create a bit more space and time for someone who doesn't have craft in their lives as a life support.

To see our Values and our Policies then please follow the links. But for your convenience I thought I would share our Giving Back Policy here.

“We believe in giving back. We know the power craft can have in our lives, and want to share that with as many people as we are able to. As we all know, making things with our hands can dramatically affect our wellbeing and support us in our everyday.

As such 10% of all profit made by the event will be invested in projects that improve the wellbeing of women through craft. Some of this money will be given in the form of scholarships and grants to people and projects within our community. Some will be in charitable donations through things like micro-loans. We will be fully transparent on where this money has been assigned, and a page will be added to our website after the event giving details.”

— https://www.soulcraftfestival.com/our-policies/

What our Giving Back looks like in reality? Well, that is what I am asking you?

This is our first year of running the festival and the first time we have attempted something like this. In the past we have run scholarships to The Craft Sessions but our Giving Back policy aims to target a larger number of women.

So my questions are;
1. Do you know of a community group that needs resources or even a cash grant. It could be for materials, for hall hire, for teaching support?
2. Do you think we should keep it totally within Australia or should a proportion of what we do be spent through charities like Give Directly or Kiva loans allowing women to support themselves and their families through craft?

We will take any advice you have for us - and will share after the event what we have decided to do.

We'd love to hear your thoughts on this post. Please comment here rather than on Facebook and  Instagram just so we have all your comments in the one place.

Thanks as always for your support.

Felicia x