Out of the darkness and into the craft.

So I've just had a bit of a sabbatical. Those of you reading this here blog for a long time will know that it happens about once a year. I don't even really know it's going to happen. I just can't write; I feel flat, have no motivation and no words. So I skip a post and then another. This one lasted two weeks.

Often this darkness of the spirit has to do with winter, cold days and a busy house, and me feeling a little overwhelmed by the ongoingness of life. I run out of ideas and feel like I have nothing at all to contribute. Nothing to say. And that there is no point to saying it. Things get a little melodramatic, dark and grim. And also tellingly I start feeling a little exposed. I get to feeling like I've shared to much, rambled to much, gone on about stuff too much. I simply feel like hiding.  

Counter-intuitively one of the signs things are heading this way is that I start engaging in a lot of off-piste, off-list craft. I begin lots of random craft based on how I feel in a given moment. Projects that are exciting, but involve lots of headspace as they are creativity-driven projects, not simply comfort craft.

While this sounds good in theory, with hindsight it's clear that I start mass-creating as a distraction to the flatness I'm feeling. However creating like this results in stress, as I start lots of hard things all at once, adding to the feelings of life-overwhelm.

For example a few weeks ago, I decided it was a good idea to create five frocks at once. A kind of upping-the-ante that means that I end up procrastinating due to overwhelm, and feeling stressed. At the same time within the space of a week, I also started an improvised sweater for me, a hat, a scarf, a sweater for my brother and another sweater for me. Sounding a little bit much, eh?

After years of doing this blogging gig though, I now know that the not-being-able-to-write will pass if I don't stress about it and just go with it. I've learnt that part of the solution is to watch the darkness start and then run with it. Don't fight it but actively seek to pull back. Find myself a metaphorical cave to hide in and get a little quiet.

So practically what to do? Well after finally figuring out I was "in" it, I turned off my email notifications, got off the internet and didn't really visit Instagram. I stopped listening to podcasts and started listening to music. I made sure I was exercising and took up a spot of drinking. I ate chocolate, sewed a little and I watched TV. I slowed down and got quiet. And intentionally decreased the number of obligations I had - to myself but also to others. I cut myself some slack.

This also was true of my craft. Once I start a project it begins to feel like an obligation to me - I feel obliged to get it done. So I intentionally I pulled back on my crafting.

I pared my knitting projects back by pulling out a couple of things I'd just started, to decrease the overwhelm of too many things on the go. I concentrated on getting the frocks made (four down, one to go), and I put all the harder projects to one side. I didn't mend. I also put aside the complicated, improvised head-based knitting (like the improvised colourwork sweater) and focused on comfort craft destined for other people.

The old trick of turning your darkness around by focusing on someone else, worked really well for me this time. I decided to really concentrate on two knitting projects - both for people I love, both stocking stitch, both other people's patterns. And it really worked. It was comforting and simple. Decreasing the overwhelm one stitch at a time, by thinking about the people I was making for, rather than my darkness. Yay.

And the cloud shifted in two weeks. Quicker than it has before which I feel has to do with the fact I went with it so willingly this time. I didn't try to force myself to post through it.

I found this Tim Ferris blog post - that talks about a deloading phase to get ready for the next big push - that I also found helpful. It feels a little like that is where I'm at.

As I sit here this morning I've actually written three posts in a row. Fingers clacking and out of nowhere. I feel like I have so much to share with you all. I am forgetting post ideas as fast as I'm coming up with them. Happy days.

Thanks for bearing with me and I'll see you tomorrow with a post about a cool social enterprise, and then later this week with some exciting TCS news.

I'd love to hear about how you use craft for your darkness.

Felicia x

PS. Last week I talked about a podcast with Paulo Coehlo but forgot to add the link. So here it is. Also on the Tim Ferris podcast - he gets great guests!

The progress of the wedding dress.

So there has been progress with the wedding dress. Not really visible progress as I'd have to show you photos of my half nude body covered in scraps of fabric pins, and we don't want to go there, do we. Instead I'll talk you through where I've got to.

I was (am) procrasinating. Plain and simple. I'm a little stuck in the old it-looks-beautiful-in-my-head-so-i-don't-want-to-make-it-in-case-it-doesn't-work story. I'm good this game and as I've done it many times before for projects that are important to me, I now recognise that it is just part of the process. It will shift.

My lovely friend Jenn put me on a making diet, restricting me from doing random stuff until I started but I got subconsciously got around her quite easily by talking up how the girls need winter dresses and so I started by cutting out five. Five. Talk about avoidance.

The avoidance is mainly because I haven't really settled on a design. It will depend on the fabrics and how they drape. So I need to do some investigation which I am doing.

So what have I actually done.

Firstly - I've been obsessed with Laure De Sagazan, a French wedding frock designer, and have spent a couple of (worthwhile) hours dissecting the shapes and lace of her frocks. If she had a stockist in Melbourne I would probably abandon the idea of homemade and trot on in with a smile on my face. Her frocks are just stunning and I would happily support her growing business. But she doesn't and I really do want to try to make it. I really do :).

Secondly - I wanted to sew up a few things to try to find a silhouette I liked.

So far I've made;

1. The Elisalex bodice - which is truly lovely but looks too formal
2. The Anna bodice - which is truly lovely but looks too bridesmaidy with the only exception being that I think this version with the low V back could be truly beautiful. Especially if it was made of lace.
3. The Esme from Lotta - which I adore and thought about using if I was to go with a sleeve. The shape of the neckline is beautiful and it is a great base which I could then alter by taking the back out ala-Laure.

Thirdly - I drafted a pattern from my favourite Gorman RTW skirt to use as a base. I adore how this thing drapes. I then sewed it up with some linen to get an idea of whether it works. It does and it's beautiful. The shape is perfect.

Fourth - Using my all-time favourite dress (mine is a different print) I've been trying to work out a pattern given all my mock ups. This frock makes me feel sensational and so I want to copy the waist band and the length of the bodice. It fits perfectly. I purchased from the super No.6 in New York - I've been trying to figure out a way to use the shape of the dress top and the waistband with the Gorman skirt to make my own Frankenpattern.

Favourite Gorman skirt. It's like the perfect a-line/circle mix.

Five - I purchased 5.5m of this beautiful Nani Iro from Miss Matatabi for the flowergirl frocks. The second photo on her website shows it better but doesn't really do it justice - and neither does my picture at the top. It is the palest perfect pink (from a non-pink lover) with silver sheen and white and fragile green flower outlines. Again this purchase is total procrastination that I feel really good about. I'm thinking little backless Geranium Dresses, maybe with a slightly longer bodice and a deep V back. The weather in Melbourne in December is rid-ic-u-lous. It could be 42 degrees or it could be 18. You never know.

Onwards and upwards. The procrastination will shift*.

My next step is to mock up an actual whole dress. I'm going to use some chambray and hope for the best. I'll be pattern making as I go. But first I need to finish those five half made kid frocks ;-).

Felicia x

* In this gorgeous podcast with Paul Coehlo he talks about how he procrastinates about 3/4 hours per day before he gets to the writing. And that it is just part of his process.

The Rainbow Connection.

The joy of rainbows.

I’m about to make a possibly shocking confession. And that is that I am not a fan of variegated yarn. I love a semi solid. But variegated? It makes my skin feel prickly and I feel stressed at the mere thought of it on the skein. Too many colours that I don't have enough control over. I freely acknowledge it is my colour/perfectionism issues at play.

That said, being the analytically minded human that I am, I also know that sometimes I love what I profess to hate, even if it makes me feel uncomfortable. For example sometimes I love variegated yarn knitted up. My friend Kellen recently made a hat out of variegated handspun that is truly beautiful. And I’ve found various examples of it on Ravelry over the years that have thrilled me.

I have the feeling that some of my disdain for it comes from my inability to see it translated from a raw material to a garment. I don’t “think” in variegated.

So that is why my recent agreement to buy, and subsequent purchase of, some variegated yarn has filled me with such glee. I love proving myself wrong. Makes me happy.

Now obviously such a big shift has to involve a big underlying emotional driver. Like many of my past decisions to use fabrics and yarn that make me shudder, this time it was all about a group of small people that love rainbows.

This year for birthday presents I’ve offered to make beanies for my lovely friend Martine’s small people. After a conversation around the kitchen table the other day, it was clear that my preference for tweedy yarns or plain yarns just wasn’t going to cut it. The joy her small girl felt while describing her love of multi-coloured purple just couldn’t be ignored. Note: She wasn’t just talking rainbows (read: variegated) but rather she was also talking “purple”. Another of my scary craft places. Purple just isn’t in my colour palette.

I thought of using scraps and knitting from stash but then the hope on her little face and the knowledge that she would feel loved every time she wore it (or even just glanced at it) made me realise that I was headed to the wool shop to buy some Noro.

And now that I’m knitting with Noro, I can’t stop. It is a yarn of joy. Watching the colours develop from the skein to the hat are filling me with total joy. It is addictive. Stopping knitting feels a bit like I’m trying to stop a magic from taking place. It feels wrong and stupid.

There is also a tactility to Noro that is truly delicious. Thick, thin, wool, cotton, soft, hard, colourful joy. It is always surprising, keeping me eyeballing the changes as the yarn runs through my fingers, becoming a stunning piece of fabric.

Now all that said, I have kind of screwed my lovely friend Martine over. Not only am I knitting her kids variegated hats that she will then have to watch them wear, I have introduced variegated yarn into a home full of small people who now know that it is a possibility. There “could” now be rainbow cardigans, rainbow blankets, rainbow vests. If only Martine would just say yes! Her kids are going to be trying hard and they are a persuasive bunch.

My own poor-neglected-sad kids have always had a blanket “NO” when they’ve asked for rainbow yarn*. What kind of a mean mum does that? Ha!

Do you have craft supplies that make your heart sing? I would love to hear...

Felicia x

* With the one exception of yarn for finger knitting.

The Myth of Patience In craft

It's the standard response to knitting in public or people hearing that you are a knitter. It happened to me only today. Someone heard that I had knit my sweater, and asked me how long it had taken me. Upon hearing that it had taken a couple of months they said "You must be soooo patient" and to that I say piffle!

The person was being lovely. She was lovely and simply making an observation and probably trying to pay me a compliment. She went on to say that most people aren't that patient. And maybe they aren't.

But the thing is I'm not patient. I need knitting because I'm not patient. I can't sit through a school concert, or hours of book reading to small people, or a two hour trip to the park, without knitting.

Can. Not. Do. It.

Without knitting all I can think is run away run away. Because I lack patience.

Now obviously this isn't always the case. Some days I love being at the park. But on days where this isn't the case then knitting keeps me where I need to be, and doing what I need to be doing.

Here is what I think is going on. I think that people say "patience" and see "patience" in knitting because they are looking at knitting as a product. You knit to create a thing, don't you? And looking at that thing - today it was my 5ply James sweater - then they think "Oh my, that would take sooo long".

But as we all know, the key part of knitting is the process. The product is simply one part of the process. Because even if we ourselves are product orientated as crafters, we can't get past the fact that we enjoy some part of the process. Otherwise we wouldn't be doing it. We would simply purchase that beanie/scarf/sweater, and go play a round of golf/game of bingo/read a magazine*!

That all said I need to point out that craft has helped me develop qualities that might confuse the issue, and sometimes may look like patience from the outside - stick-with-it-ness, and trust in the process, and a willingness to rip something out if I'm not happy with the result. But again, a lot of those qualities exist because I've learnt that craft is a process that sometimes results in a product. Craft as a practice has changed me - I just found this long forgotten blog post that describes this perfectly Practice and all is coming.

Knitting is not a product** and I am not patient**.

How about you? Do you get asked this?

Felicia x

P.S. To hear more about the process then go have a listen to me chat to Elizabeth in the Mornings on the Dock podcast. Elizabeth then talks some more about process in the following episode with Bristol Ivy.

P.P.S. Yay! The Winner of my Tessuti Alice in Nani Iro is Laura Darby - could you email me at admin@thecraftsessions.com and I will get it out to you.

* What is it that those non-crafters get up to in their spare time? Anyone?

** There are obviously exceptions.

Stash Less Challenge #4 - Stop Shopping

In 2016 we invite you to join us in your own personal Stash Less project. Stash Less is a project whereby we work towards having a mindful stash. Each month we will be posting a challenge for you to use in your own journey of discovery and change. Please feel free to join in at any time. We can't wait to hear what you find out! Last year's Stash Less posts can be found here but to follow this year's Challenge then please use the links below.

Stash Less January - Challenge #1 Taking Stock
Stash Less Feburary - Challenge #2 Make a Plan
Stash Less March - Challenge #3 Make a Making List

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So big apologies for last month. I dropped the ball because of registration (and life) and I didn't post a challenge for the month. But I'm sure you didn't mind. It gave you a bit of time right? Changing your habits around purchasing means making better decisions over time, which means that extra time gives you more opportunity to shift?

Challenge #4 - Stop Shopping

So the challenge for this month is to stop shopping - unless you need something very specific for a project you are working on right now.

So what does not shopping actually involve?

Not shopping means more than just not purchasing. It means window shopping or online looking as a pastime. It means unsubscribing to yarn updates, latest pattern collection release emails and many many newsletters.* It involves not popping into the wool shop even if you are in the area.

It involves only walking into a shop to buy supplies for making with a list.

I still fail at this one, but the improvement on where I was is massive. I've made this change in my life slowly. Initially just with sewing and knitting blogs and stores. But over time I've extended it to all area's of my life. I can clearly see how my behaviour around all shopping has shifted and changed my perspective.

These days I get newsletters from my very favourite stores only, so in each category (knitting, sewing, clothes) it would be down to three or less. As I said, I'm still a work in progress :). Maybe you could get yours down to zero?

What is the problem with looking?

So why does it matter if we aren't purchasing? Why is does it matter if we are just looking?

Here's the thing. I actually think there are a couple of problems with shopping as a pastime. Pastime? Well, if we aren't shopping to purchase something we need, then we are using it simply as a pastime. And why is it bad for as a way to spend our time?

1. Window shopping leads to shopping shopping.
Maybe it's late at night you are a bit tired, and you forget yourself. Or you see something that you really really need. Or you find a pattern that you just know you are going to use really soon. Except that you don't.

You don't need it - otherwise it would be on your making list as something you need. Or it would be on a supply list as something you need. Window shopping creates needs (that aren't really needs) from of the emotions we have when we see them - excitement, longing, admiration and my old friend desire.

2. Shopping as a past time has us sitting in desire rather than creativity.
If we spend our time looking rather than creating, it means our heads are in the wrong place. When we get an email newsletter (eg. did anyone else get Brooklyn Tweed's Wool People collection today?), we get distracted by the new and shiny and follow the worm down the wormhole. And who wants to be in a hole with worms?

“Comparison is the thief of joy!”

— Theodore Roosevelt

Window shopping as a pastime means that we are sitting with our future selves, looking at things we don't need, for projects that we know we don't have time to make - cause we know what is on our making list - right? It means we are looking at what we don't have rather than what we do have. It means we are sitting in desire rather than gratitude.

Window shopping means are not looking after our head space! Even if we don't see anything super sparkly that we want to buy, we are still looking for satisfaction elsewhere. It's like flirting with the barista** rather than appreciating the ace fella at home who just did the dishes. We already have a wonderful stash of materials at home. If we didn't, we wouldn't be doing Stash Less.

Sometimes we stop appreciating the wonderful stash we have simply because we've had many of the materials for so long that we almost can't see them. And window shopping? Well that is essentially looking for a barista to flirt with because we are a bit bored. It means our head isn't in the game, and isn't thinking about our values and our long term happiness.

We want to change our relationship to purchasing over time. We want it to be about meeting a need we have, in a way that fulfills us in the long term because it sits with our values - rather than giving us a quick fix of dopamine that makes us feel great for a few seconds, or maybe a few days while we wait for the mail to arrive. Living our true values gives us true freedom.

Over time we want to shift out of desire and into creating. Creating is a wonderful place to be - it's why we got into this making gig in the first place. It fills us up and makes us feel that crackle of joy that makes us feel truly alive. We want to be using our materials to bring us joy with substance and makes our hearts sing. 

So talk to me, about your purchasing habits, your window shopping and your newsletters? Do you think they affect your behaviour? What are you going to change?

As always if you are posting on any of this then please add your links in the comments.

Felicia x

*I have my newsletters now down to about 2 or three - this was down from about 20 in the good old days before Stash Less.

** The first (and sadly only) analogy that came to me - and now I am wondering if the reason that I thought of it was because I've used it before on this here blog? I am in no way judging barista flirting as a pastime ;) and I really need to head to bed.