No need to be talented.

I'm trying to make a hat. A hat to make a pattern for a secret squirrel mini project that I'll announce very soon. But I need to finish the pattern. Need to. Not want to. 

And so I'm trying. Pick it up, put it down. Pick it up again. Rip and rip and rip. And any one of the versions I'd made would probably have looked lovely I'm sure, but they weren't what I had in my mind's eye and so I'm ripping. Cause I want it to be really good. 

As I was making this hat though I realised that I had a working demonstration of how practice, and trial and error, are the things that are getting me to the destination. Not some innate crafty magic. I've written quite a few blog posts talking around this topic like "I'm not creative" and "You're so talented - and other malignant myths" that talk about the fact that in order to create something beautiful you do not need to be talented. You just need to be making. Practice is key to how you get good at anything. And at the risk of stating the obvious, this hat is a case study around these ideas. I'm practicing and trialling and practicing and trialling getting my colour choices to where I want them to be. 

The other thing this hat is proving to me is the old "Planning only takes you so far" truth. That post shows you another version of this very same hat. 

So here it is. The story of a half-finished hat.

Version #1 was too contrasty - the navy too navy.

Version #2 - thought maybe the blue was too blue for the garter round so I tried the mushroom. This was too blah.

Version #3 - tried a grey garter row which was too soft - and again the navy was too navy.

Back we go again.....

Version #4 was closer but the mushroom and pink were too soft/light so the star motif was lost.

Version #5 was again too contrasty and had nothing to tie the pink/mushroomy colours in with the lower part of the hat.

Version #6. Still not sure the bright orange should be bright orange so am going to trial another colour. The pink in the star feels a little "little girl".....but we will see. 

Where it is at right now. 

I'm sure in five years time after doing a lot more colourwork and making many more choices about colour that I will be faster at it and it won't take so many versions to get it right. I hope so anyway. 

Practicing in the gap. 

Felicia x

Putting The Love In

Sentimentality is a quality I share with my eldest kid. He loves hearing stories about when he was little and really struggles with the idea that he would throw anything out. Which makes him a total joy to make things for. He loves the idea I am making them, loves receiving them and then wears them until they fall apart. And even then doesn't want to throw them out. He recently gave up a pair of shorts I made for him when he was three. He is now almost 9. They are the calico-coloured shorts you see below with little frogs all over them. I think the only reason he didn't get grief about them in school is he had been wearing them since they were all so small they didn't "see" them anymore. By the end they were a little on the short side of shorts which didn't seem to bother him at all. He tore a hole in the bum though, so it was time.

Last week I decided I'd better finally stop my procrastination and make his quilt to try to get it done by his birthday this weekend. I was planning on having it made by the end of the year but I realised that what I was really doing was avoiding starting it because I wanted it to be "special". The old "if you don't start it you can't muck it up" chestnut. Classic perfectionism bu*@sh*t.

I'd been happy with the design for a good few months so there was no reason not to start. I also downsized my (crazy) expectations that his quilt would be hand quilted, and decided machine quilting was probably best for a kid that will drag it around the house, make cubbies out of it, and take it camping. 

So I cut! And I began to make it and I really love it so far. It is better than I thought it would be. You can see it's progress best on my instagram feed.

Getting the quilt ready to trim the binding.

Anyway the love. I had this idea many years ago that when I made him a quilt it would include fabric scraps from many of the shorts and shirts I had made him over the years. But as I don't really like the "patch" element of patchwork I was trying to figure out how to do it. I was going to put them on the back but that felt a little sad. Instead I've come up with the (hopefully) genius idea of doing a strip binding with the scraps. I was planning on using the super worn short fabric alongside the unused scrap fabric but when it came time to cut up the super-torn well-loved shorts I found I couldn't do it. 

Sentimental much? Yes! But if it's not about that, what is it about?? I love love the fact that he will be able to find fabrics he knows and loves in a small way in this quilt. Fabrics that will slowly fade, as did the shorts and shirts he has worn over the last few years until they are now soft and pale. 

Some lovely person on instagram pointed out that it was a quilt that he could have into adulthood without it feeling kid-like. And without the binding that was totally true. I'm hoping however that with the binding it will actually be a bit of both. A piece of his childhood he can take into his adulthood - if he wants to obviously. But I think he just might!

If you feel like it, I'd love to hear about how you put "the love" in your projects....

Felicia x

Stash Less - Breaking the Habit

I'm finally running. After thinking about it for the last couple of years, I've been being consistent for four weeks. Now this might not sound that impressive but it has been about three years since I have consistently exersized for four weeks so I am calling it a win. 

Now the interesting thing about it is not the running per se, but rather how I finally got over the hump and got going. I watched this video a little while ago - Good Life Project: Charles Duhigg - Power of Habit - and for all those looking at changing/starting/creating a habit, it's information is great. I believe in the power of habit and the old "you need X numbers of days to create a habit" makes sense to me, but there seemed to be a something missing from everything I'd read previously ie. how does one get to the X number of days. The video has the answer!

To sum up the presentation - every habit needs to have a;

• Cue - The trigger for the behaviour. To put your brain into automatic mode where you do the activity without thinking about it.
• Behaviour - The action or activity. 
• Reward - The thing that encodes the behaviour into making into a habit.

Charles talks a little bit about what you need to do to set up the cue and then encode the behaviour through giving yourself the reward. The cue can be a time, a place, the presence of other people, an emotion or a certain preceding action. He goes on to say that the reward can be extrinsic to start with to get you going but eventually the behaviour itself can become the reward. For example you could reward yourself with chocolate to start for running at the beginning, and before very long the intrinsic joy of the activity itself takes over. 

So bloody useful! 

Now that wasn't what I did. I didn't use chocolate. I did use cues to create a ritual to get this thing started. 

The cues I'm using are fairly simple. I am putting my runners and running tights on first thing in the morning, not eating breakfast and leaving them on until I've gone running. If I have to wait until the kids are out the door that's fine. Some days I've worn them all day and gone at dinner time. The fact I have them on is the cue. And because I'm not really a fan of doing my life in gym tights then I want to get it done so I can get dressed. Clever hey!

The reward has very quickly become the thrill I get from being "a runner", and from knowing that I'm not just allowing my 41yr old body to crumble into decline without putting up a fight. But there is one big other reward which was unexpected but really fun. I've been making sure I have some super album on my phone ready to go. This last week I've been revisiting the early 90s. I did Beastie Boys Ill Communication early last week and then this morning moved on to Billy Bragg. I haven't listened to him in ye-ars. By the time I got back from my run I was ready to start a revolution! (Love you Billy x). I'm taking the joy of the music into my day.

Finally I also did a couple of other things. I removed some of the barriers that I often use to get out of doing what I know I should be doing.

For example

1. Knowing that perfectionism is often an issue for me I decided to go every second day rather than every day. That way I couldn't use the excuse that "I haven't done what I said I would do and so therefore the whole thing is ruined". Cue dramatic face. This way if I actually do miss a day I just do it the next. I don't need to be perfect.
2. Knowing that I often have kid stuff/life stuff/family stuff getting in the way at particular times I decided this time I wasn't going to try to do classes that involved an hour and a half and were only on at a particular time. With running it takes 30 minutes from start to finish and I could do it anytime by walking out the front door.
3. I've purchased a few things so that weather is not a barrier - it's heading towards winter here. I can run in the rain or the sleet. I just need my jacket. 

What in the hell does this have to do with craft Semple?

Excellent question! I've been thinking about my habits around purchasing as part of Stash Less. I've written in a previous Stash Less post about the triggers I am aware of. Of course my friend Charles in the video calls them cues - potatO, poTAto. This last week or two I've spent some more time considering what they are, what behaviour they create and what rewards I'm getting. I've realised that I actually have different cues for different types of buying.

For example I buy knitting patterns - that I don't necessarily need or use - when I am stuck in my current projects. I am so habitual about my crafting that when I don't have something easy to pick up I start dreaming about what else I could work on.  I surf patterns, I surf Ravelry, I surf Pinterest until I find something I can buy. It takes up time and energy and causes random purchasing. 

Another example of a cue for me would be hearing on social media that there is a "new" fabric collection, yarn release or pattern. I get curious and I want to go and have a look. Having "a look" causes me to wander around online shops and from there I can feel the unthinking behaviour taking over. I put things in my cart and I purchase, justifying it in the moment to get to the reward. Waiting for the post person is exciting. 

Knowing and understanding the habits means that I am able to change them. With that in mind, I recently went through my email and "unsubscribed" from nearly every shop mailing list and every instagram account that tempts me. I removed a cue!

Anyway this requires some more thought but the idea that you can replace one habit with another is fascinating to me and something that I know will help me get closer to having the type of buying habits I am ultimately proud of and comfortable with. I really want to be a conscious consumer. And I'm going to get there!

Anyone else have habitual buying patterns that they know of?

Felicia x

P.S. Here is Charles Duhigg's TED talk - It's terrific!

Around the Traps - Me Made May

Me Made May starts today my friends and for the first time I am going to join in.

A little blurb from So Zo,.....what do you know?'s blog goes as follows;

“Me-Made-May’15 is a challenge designed to encourage people who sew/knit/crochet/refashion/upcycle garments for themselves to actually wear and love them. The me-made and self-stitched challenges have been taking place for five years now and they work on both a personal and community level. The participants decide the specifics of their own challenge pledge, so that the month is appropriate and challenging for them (more on this below). For example, a very common pledge is for a participant to aim to wear one self-stitched or refashioned garment each day for the duration of May 2015. The participants can also choose to document their challenge with daily photos (though this is in no way compulsory for taking part) and share them with other participants (more on this below). ”

There are a lot more details on Zoe's website so go have a read - lots to think about!

My sewing and knitting have improved over time as has my ability to create the things that I really want to make. The thing that seems really important to me now, is not that I keep making and making and making for the sake of making, but rather that I spend time looking for the holes in my wardrobe and where I could improve it. Not by making lots of things but rather by making one or two and really loving them. There are some black holes in my wardrobe - where I need to make things but I haven't. And also some areas where I have made too many things and I don't wear them all. I stick to my favourites, y'know?

I wear homemade nearly every day but I kindof overlook the fact that the things that I truly love are things I've made myself. I still go out seeking the special in shops when I need a little pickmeup and sometimes I think I see my handmade as not quite as special. I'm actually shocking myself as I'm typing these words.... but I think it is true and that is what I think. How totally crazy is that! Eek!! 

My MMM pledge

I'm joining MMM as a consciousness raising exercise for myself. I will wear handmade everyday in May and will keep a visual record of what I wear (I may not get to post them everyday ;)). Thereby enabling me to better understand what I have, what I love and what I need. 

Are you planning on joining me this month? 

Felicia x

PS. For social media the hastag is #memademay.

PPS. I know that you definitely don't need to make anything for MMM, however Jenn just finally released the Morris Blazer for her Grainline label. I've been waiting for this for many years so I may just slip one in over the next few weeks. My only issue is that there is nothing in stash and Stash Less is still going strong. I'll give you an update next week hopefully.....

Hamstrung by choice

Quilts are doing my head in a little. I've developed a big love since getting over my issues. And the ongoing pinning I'm doing on pinterest has me dreaming of oh-so-many ideas and plans and designs. 

And then there is reality. Reality means that I only get to make a few quilts in my life. I'm not a quilter by trade which means I'm really only making them for me and my peeps. The reason I'm making them is because I want to use the quilts, and so I know that at the absolute most I can probably make three bed quilts for me (without feeling excessive). More than three will just take up cupboard space. So if that is my limit then the question becomes which three????? Such a big big question.

Now I can hear Claire and Anna talking to me in my head as I write this telling me I am making this into a much bigger thing than it needs to be. And that I could make something and maybe not like it and then give it away. But that is not how my brain naturally thinks. I really want to love what I make and I really want to plan them well. So while I accept what they are saying, I still feel like I should be putting the time into the planning which quilt stage, rather than making things I'm unsure about only to find after all that effort they aren't what I want to live with, year in, year out. 

So what do I want to make?

Well I'm making the dirty linen/denim quilt you can see in the top photo and I am chuffed to bits with how that is going. And then….

I would love to do a lone star (here are two examples). Just for the challenge and because they are traditional and beautiful. I may be able to get away with doing one of these for my daughter as she loves this design. It would scratch the itch and wouldn't be counted as part of the three. Win win methinks.

I would totally love to do a two colour traditional design with a lot of negative space. Something like this or this or this or this. But what? And what colours - blue and white because blue is my first love or should I branch out? Feels like a risky time to be going off piste.

I also have it in my head that I want to make this star into a much bigger design. One with maybe 16 stars on a linen denim background. How pretty would that be? So so pretty. But would I love it in years to come - again there is that pesky and creativity-stifling question about longevity.

I also have a naturally dyed number that involves the most beautiful indigo and madder dyed fabrics. And then and then….so many ideas.

Then there are my kids. They all need single bed quilts, and are being very patient with their waiting, but I know theirs need to go on the list alongside the ones I want to make for me. Which means that mine will have to sit on the back burner for longer than I might hope - so why am I wasting all this brainspace daydreaming about quilt ideas??

When you finally get through the list of ideas, then you have to consider all the time  it would take to hand quilt them. Knitting takes up much of my couch time and so to ask myself to give that up for another passion….well the needles might get a little jealous. It almost feels like cheating with on my one true love - with some smokin' hot babe. Just because she is hot. But I've been with my love for many years… y'know surely that means I could have a free pass? It is all a little unsettling.

Now I realise that this stream of consciousness, that I am allowing to flow straight from my brain into my fingers, is not the most well thought out or the most consciously considered. And I know that Anna and Claire are right and that I am making this into something bigger than it needs to be. But do you ever get stuck on this stuff? The "if I make this then I can't make that so what on earth do I choose" dilemma?? I'd love to hear yours. Or do you feel freedom in the idea of boundless options?

Fel x

PS. This post really validates the message in My Making List 2015 about the freedom that can come with restricted choice….